facing may

I’m having a hard time with being in the last few days of April. I can’t keep track of what month it is. In one moment I’m sure it’s May, and then in the next moment I’m totally shocked that April’s on its last leg.

I think part of it has to do with the immense anticipation I’ve had for May—and not the positive kind of anticipation. Dread might be too strong of a word, but what the heck, let’s say dread. Maybe this dread stems from the stress of knowing that our housing contract will be renewed at the end of May, marking the passing of a whole year of me saying that I’ll find a job but not actually doing it. The realization that my state of denial and procrastination has effectively lasted [at least] a year is, shall we say, a touch disheartening?

And yet, I think the trepidation with which I face May stems from something else.

…And then it hit me. The lightning bolt struck when Bryant got in the car yesterday and said with a sparkle in his eyes and pure glee in his voice, “Only FOUR more days!”

“Only four more days till what?” I replied.

Then I realized. The source of my fear, heartache, and misgivings about May…

It’s Mustache May.

I’ve come to accept that I’ll never truly understand why my husband derives so much pleasure from shaving his facial hair into weird shapes. But he does, and I suppose I shouldn’t deny him that. He did it when we were dating, so I shouldn’t be surprised that he still does it now. (After only one month of dating, he celebrated Mustache and MULLET May in all its glory. It was actually pretty funny when he did it, until we had to go out in public. I’m inexpressibly thankful that we’ve pared it down to a simple Mustache May, but don’t tell anyone I admitted that.)

Somehow, I thought [hoped] that once we were married, the month-themed facial hair experiments would quell. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, don’t you know you can never change a man? ;) And especially with Bryant, what you see is what you get.

I’ve considered whipping out some Bible-talk and telling him that Paul says the time has come to “put away childish things,” but I’m pretty sure I could guess his response.

“Kelly, mustaches are as far from childish as a man can get! Maybe I should wear it year round!” …And that’s not the outcome I’m going for.

I’ve been considering implementing a themed May for myself. How about Massage May, where every day I get to enjoy a relaxing back rub? Or Magnolia, Marigold, and Mum May, where every day I get a new flower that starts with M? Or Make Me Dinner May, where I don’t have to cook all month long? Somehow I doubt those would catch on.

So bring on May in all its splendor. Maybe this year Bryant will decide not to do it. Or maybe next. Or maybe never. Ah well.


Category: for my amusement, if i ruled the world, quirks 2 comments »

2 Responses to “facing may”

  1. Stefani

    So I was watching the wedding video that my brother-in-law made of Ronnie’s and my wedding day. And you and Be were featured…and your advice was to not let your husband grow a mustache…because we got married May 9, and indeed, Be had a mustache.

  2. Bryant

    That was a good comeback for the Bible-talk. I’m very impressed with my hypothetical self.

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