i know. i'm blushing.

Mmm, cereal. My go-to breakfast or mid-day snack (or dinner, I won’t lie). Earlier this week, I got home from school, poured myself a giant bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and sat down in front of the TV to relax for a few. As I polished off the last sugar-coated square, I noticed something kind of weird. A tiny dark clump floating in the now sugar-saturated milk. I thought, “It’s probably just a clump of cinnamon or maybe a little broken off chunk of cereal.” But it looked odd enough that I scooped it up into my spoon and went to examine it under better light.

I don’t know if I’m glad or regretful that I did that.

Dead bug. Chilling on my spoon. In a little puddle of milk. It was a creepy, brown, segmented bug with about a million legs packed on to it’s tiny body. Who cares if it was probably only about 1/16 of an inch and you needed a magnifying glass to really see it, it still completely grossed me out. I sat there looking at my bowl of sugary milk, freshly eaten, and I wondered how many of those critters made it down the hatch into my stomach.

Gross. After inspecting the bag and finding a tiny hole in the bottom, I threw it out, sprayed down the shelves in the cupboard, and kind of swore off cereal for a while.

And now I sit here, days later, stomach rumbling, so hungry for breakfast, craving some cereal, but too afraid to try. I wish I could think of it as camping, where you don’t really care if a bug or two joins you for your meal. But that mental game isn’t helping. I just really prefer it if there aren’t any bugs in my cereal. Or at least that I’m unaware of their presence.

PS. Don’t google “bug in cereal” unless you want an adventure. Apparently, my 1/16″ bug is nothing.

Everyone who told me that I wouldn’t need air conditioning in Washington, except for maybe three days a year, was flat out lying.

Just putting that out there.

Also, even if I did only need it for three days a year, those would be the three happiest days of my life, sitting in the comfort of my cold, air-conditioned home while the rest of the world boiled away outside.

It’s 5 o’clock at night, 93 degrees outside, and probably 193 degrees here in my top-floor apartment.

.. .. ..

Alright. I’m done whining. For now. Thanks for listening. Back to FNL.

We had some house guests a couple weeks ago who introduced us to Friday Night Lights, and now we can’t stop watching. We burned through the first two seasons in two weeks and started on season three tonight. (So far, season one wins.) My point in telling you all that is this: These past two weeks of total Texas immersion has begun messing with our brains. I swear we’ve both started talking with a Southern drawl. It may be slight, but it’s there, and it’s kinda freaking me out. Guess I’m doing my mama proud.

Hey! My sidebar music player is back! And what’s amazing is that Bryant wasn’t even home to help me figure out how to get the music pumping. I actually did it BY MYSELF. ~Whoa~ Although, he was the one who helped me download it and connect it up and do basically all the confusing stuff I find so intimidating. That was over a month ago. And it’s taken me this long to put it in the sidebar. But still. I feel proud.

And I love the song I’ve got playing there now, in case you couldn’t tell.

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Alice Cooper – “School’s Out”

School’s out. Finished the quarter. Happy with the work I did. Amazed at how much I learned. Thrilled to be done.

I always get “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper stuck in my head at this time of year. Cooper was once asked what the greatest three minutes of his life were. His response:

There’s two times during the year. One is Christmas morning, when you’re just getting ready to open the presents. The greed factor is right there. The next one is the last three minutes of the last day of school when you’re sitting there and it’s like a slow fuse burning. I said, “If we can catch that three minutes in a song, it’s going to be so big.” *

What’s funny is even after all these years, that feeling doesn’t change. Those last seconds, when you gather your bag, walk to the front, hand your exam to the professor, and then float as you push open the door of the lecture hall and walk into the sunlight… the release is unbelievable. And now, two days after my last exam, I keep getting that feeling of guilt for not using my time to catch up on reading, coupled with the surreal realization that there is no more reading to do.

Suddenly the things that were at the very bottom of the to-do list get promoted to the top. You never had time to do them before, and now they’re the most important things in front of you.

I like it a lot.

*I read that story here, which is the most reliable source in the world, I know. But it’s still a good story.

One of the nice things about this new apartment is all of the electrical outlets. There’s like one on every wall. Seriously. It’s a huge upgrade from our last apartment, which had about three outlets in the whole place—none of which were grounded.

So I’ve taken this opportunity to get something I’ve never had the luxury of using before: plug-in air fresheners. (Totally classy, I know. What can I say, we’re moving up in the world.)

This month’s flavor?

Vanilla. …Sweet, sugary, delicious vanilla.

And it’s killing me. Every time I walk into the living room, I’m hit with this amazing smell of sugar cookies and frosting. Bryant’s dying too. Every now and then you can hear one of us shout, “I want frosting!” I swear, this air freshener is going to make us each gain 20 pounds. We might have to get rid of it if we don’t get used to the smell soon.

Good news, everybody.

I haven’t seen a fruit fly in days. I’m pretty sure I won.  And in other good news, the plant that I doused in Raid hasn’t died yet… even though the warning on the can told me that it would.  (Hey, when it comes to combatting bugs, I take no prisoners.  Fraternizing with the enemy is unacceptable.)

…Hang in there, little plant.

So this might be considered old news, since the movie’s been out for more than a month now, but this past weekend, Bryant and I went into Seattle and saw Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. It was wonderful. I’m totally enamored with it. You all probably already knew how awesome it was because you’re not weird like us and wait a month to go see the movies that look good. But if you haven’t seen it yet, go now!

We saw it in 3D, which was fun, as you can clearly tell by the expression on Bryant’s face.

In other news, we finally got Washington plates and new drivers licenses, so it’s like we’ve officially moved in. (Though, technically Bryant is still waiting on his.) The thing is, having Utah plates kind of felt like a protection—a valid disclaimer. When I was driving someplace new, it was almost excusable to be driving like a lost soul, pausing a little too long before turns, driving just a touch too slow to figure out where the heck I am. Or anytime I did something stupid on the road (unrelated to being new, just related to being a bad driver), I would say, “Sorry! Utah driver!” and I felt somehow justified and protected from ridicule. But now it’s official. We live here. No excuse for driving slow or crazy. I’m supposed to know where everything is. Supposed to know what I’m doing. Feels kind of like taking off the training wheels.

The most hilarious thing about living in Washington is the weather segment of the news. They always try to say something suspenseful to keep you watching through the commercial break, because seriously, you do NOT want to miss the report about what big weather event is coming our way. But in reality, all they ever say is that it’s probably going to rain today. And it’s probably going to rain tomorrow. And the next day. Then they act like it’s a huge surprise. Also, they don’t say “sunshine.” They say “sun break.”

Also alarming was pulling up to the drive-in at Dairy Queen the first week we lived here. Instead of listing Blizzard prices by size (S, M, or L), they list them by calorie content (bad-for-you, really-bad-for-you, or you’re-going-to-die-young). Mm, I think that’s something I didn’t want to know.

Parking lots are also funny places. It’s as if people don’t drive around looking for a free spot; they drive around looking for already-occupied spaces where a shopper is unloading her cart. Then they sit and wait for her to leave. We moved here during the last-minute Christmas rush, so I thought maybe this phenomenon was due to the high volume of shoppers. But it’s been a good three months now, and I still notice people doing this. They’re willing to sit and wait three minutes for you to leave, rather than drive a few more rows down to park in the spot that’s already empty. Patient folks, these Washingtonians.

Another thing. Sometimes the carpool lane is on the right side of the highway instead of the left. Strange. Also, stores have a bucket of complimentary umbrellas for you to borrow at their doors because, yes, it is always raining. A layer of green grows on everything—tree trunks, lampposts, house siding, stop signs. And my college campus looks just like the Dharma Initiative on Hydra island. Seriously.

Oh, and having a dishwasher is complete bliss.

Almost a year ago, I posted a picture of a birthday cake I made for a ridiculously random party my friends threw in Chuck Norris’ honor. Just a couple days ago, I was glancing through my site stats when I noticed that someone had gotten to my blog from a link at the Huffington Post.

Wha?

Turns out, Mr. Norris made me famous. Well, maybe not famous. More like a teensy blip on the comedy-news aggregation scene. My cake photo found its way into some random post about amusing pop-culture cakes earlier this month at the Huffington Post.

This made me curious about how much traffic my one, obscure Chuck Norris post was bringing to my blog. It turns out, a LOT.

49% of the search terms people use to find my blog (through Google or Yahoo or wherever) have do with Chuck Norris. FORTY-NINE PERCENT! Who knew so many people are hungry for Chuck? (In the interest of transparency, I should tell you that I also counted terms that imply Chuck Norris but don’t necessarily include his name. For example, there were four hits on my blog using the search “will roundhouse kick you for food,” and I included that with the Chuck Norris tally because, well, wouldn’t you?)

Also, my site stat thingy was broken for a while, and within just an hour or so of [Bryant] fixing it, I noticed that two internet searches had already led people to my blog. Both were looking for Chuck.

Furthermore, what do you think the #3 most-clicked post in the history of this blog is? (I guess there’s really not much suspense in that question, considering that all I’m doing right now is talking about The Chuck.) That’s right! It’s my Chuck Norris birthday cake post. I know this place isn’t bursting with fantastic material, but I’m not really sure how I feel about the Texas Ranger making it in my top 3. …Proud?