trees drool. deserts rule.

April 11th, 2011 — 11:51pm

I’ve had this weird feeling lately. It started as nothing—so faint it was hardly noticeable. But it grew. And then it was strong enough that I could name it. So I did. And goodness knows once you name something it sticks around.

I miss Utah.

It’s almost comedic, isn’t it? How life changes you so slowly and subtly. Like wind against rock. Until it’s suddenly shocking when you finally notice how different you’ve become.

It’s those dang mountains. I crave them. I miss living right at their base before they jut off into the sky. I miss having them tower over my head. I miss the comfort of those massive, steady landmarks, always in view no matter where you turn.

I have an old friend who’s a dyed in the wool Utah soul. She lamented the claustrophobia-inducing trees of Connecticut and the gaping emptiness of the mid-west’s plains. “There are no mountains to keep the sky up off my head!” she’d say. I didn’t get it. Now I do. Those mountains.

Plus there’s this:

Southern Utah. Glowing, gritty, sandy red rocks.

‘Nuff said.

It’s more than just the landscape I miss. You know, there was something cool about finally making my peace with the crazy culture. It was an awesome accomplishment. It wasn’t just that I appreciated the endless comedic fodder (and don’t get me wrong, it truly is endless). But I grew to really love the good parts. I learned to notice them, and see them more often. And I learned to make the best of the rest.

I haven’t forgotten that lesson. Washington is amazing. Breathtaking. I love this place. Plus I’m pretty sure I’m going to start loving it even more, now that I don’t have to work nights and weekends.

But isn’t it weird that moving to this gorgeously green state was what showed me I’ve become a desert girl? Me? The one who always maintained that no place is as beautiful as my green, rolling Connecticut hills. The one who would drive around the back roads of Provo and Salt Lake looking for tree tunnels that I could drive under and squeal, “It looks like home!”

And here I am. Nostalgically browsing through old photos. Reading Utah blogs and salivating. Fantasizing about Goblin Valley, Spiral Jetty, Antelope Island.

Sunbeams, verga, and big sky. Canyons, aspen groves, and a compass built right into the landscape. Tumbleweed, road trips, and all four seasons. Mexican food, carefree college nights, and the disgusting awesomeness of the Great Salt Lake.

Yes. Those are bugs. Love that salty lake.

I guess if I give it a couple years, I’ll probably be writing a post like this about the Pacific Northwest, too. But right now, even though I am terribly happy where I am, it’s a pretty nice feeling to have something to be nostalgic about. I’m a little homesick for my second home.

1 comment » | good things, nostalgia, pictures, the great outdoors, travels, we live here now

i think i’m growing as a person…

April 4th, 2011 — 10:27pm

…either that or really lowering my standards.

I just consciously drank two-day-old expired milk because, hey, it still tasted okay. And I didn’t think twice about it. Until now, I guess, when I’m clearly thinking about it again. But that doesn’t count.

This is likely the first time I ever willfully consumed anything past its date stamp. It somehow makes me feel more grown up. Is that weird? Maybe it’s just that I’m noticing that I truly am becoming my mother. ;) (Hey Ma! Love ya!)

3 comments » | for my amusement, junk food, quirks

on going gray

February 3rd, 2011 — 5:00am

Of all the random places to find this great poem, I found it hanging in a bathroom stall of a restaurant Bryant and I discovered recently.

Plans like these give you something to look forward to.
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple...

2 comments » | for my amusement, quotes

obsessive proof reading

January 31st, 2011 — 8:00am

After I send an email, regardless of how many times I proof it before hitting send, I always have to go into my sent mail folder and reread the message one last time. I don’t know why, but I can’t help it. I know it’s too late to fix any errors, but I do it anyway. Every time. I think maybe I do this because I figure if my recipient is going to see an error, I want to see it too. Then, at least we BOTH know I’m an idiot.

That’s my running theory anyway.

1 comment » | for my amusement, quirks

you never know what you got till it’s gone

January 30th, 2011 — 4:48pm

I’ve been fighting a little bug the past week. It was nothing too serious. I still went to school and work. No biggie. But Friday night this bug culminated in the utter destruction of my voice. I felt it slipping away at work, and then I thrashed what was left of it by stopping in at a karaoke bar with some friends and shouting the lyrics of “Bohemian Rhapsody” at the top of my lungs until there was nothing left. Curse you Wayne’s World. What was I thinking?

Work on Saturday night proved interesting. Remember how I work with the geriatric population? Remember how they can’t hear anything unless it’s cranked up to at least twice the normal decibel level? Yeah. Well, then you can imagine. Saturday was interesting.

My poor voice is now left in shards on the floor. I’m afraid I’ve lost it forever. It cracks and creaks and rises and falls completely independent of my bidding. There’s no such thing as tone or inflection anymore. I’m relegated to a whisper.

I miss it. You never notice how much depends on your voice until you don’t have it anymore. It turns out I use my voice a lot, and not having one changes everything. The simplest conversations become complicated, and normal tasks—ones that you don’t even realize you use your voice for—become difficult.

People are totally meant to have voices. We come pre-packaged with these nifty little folds in our larynx that are made specially for sound-making. I’m telling you, it’s meant to be.

I want it back.

1 comment » | un-categorizable randomness

false start saturday

January 29th, 2011 — 12:30pm

I woke up this morning and groggily reached out for the clock, wondering how much time I had before I had to get ready for class. “8:52″ the clock said. I was hit with a sudden panic. “I’m so late!” I thought. In a rush of adrenaline I nearly leapt out of bed.

Then slowly, laboriously, the rest of my brain caught up with myself. “Calm down!” my brain said. “Today is Saturday.”

Still feeling mildly confused, but beginning to accept the fact that the weekend had arrived, relief slowly filled me. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Such a strange way to start the day. But thank goodness for Saturdays.

3 comments » | for my amusement, un-categorizable randomness

perception is such a weird thing

January 24th, 2011 — 10:12pm

Before I had a job, it used to feel like the only thing people ever talked about was their work. I dreaded meeting new people, going to parties, or anything else that would require small talk. I was so mortified at what I perceived was my enormous lack that I couldn’t handle the possibility of having to talk about it.

It’s funny because now that I have a job, I never even think about it. I mean, I guess people still talk about it, but it never feels like the only conversation topic anymore. And honestly, most people don’t really care what it is you do, or whether you get paid for it.

But I REALLY didn’t used to feel that way.

So strange how your insecurities mess with your perception. I wonder if there would have been a way to get over that insecurity without my circumstances changing. I wonder if I could have been comfortable enough with myself and my joblessness that my perception of things then could have been more similar to my perception now.

Also, I think I might define myself too much by my occupation/career goals. How do you not do that?

1 comment » | just wondering, quirks, what's inside

so good.

January 23rd, 2011 — 5:50pm

This is a judge-free zone, right?

Good.

So now I’ll tell you the best tasting thing ever.

Butter plus brown sugar, beaten until it’s creamy, right before you add anything else to the cookie dough. I mean really, why even bother with the other ingredients? (Except maybe for the chocolate.)

Delicious.

2 comments » | for my amusement, good things, junk food

::cough cough::

December 6th, 2010 — 10:55am

I’ve been sick since Thanksgiving.  Actually, I’m pretty sure my whole extended family has been sick since Thanksgiving, unless they were sick right before or during Thanksgiving. It seems we had a white elephant exchange at my parent’s house: bring your favorite microbe to pass around. :)

Despite the stress of having to miss work, juggling school, and sitting around coughing out my insides, it is a little bit nice (am I allowed to say this???) to be forced to sit around at home and do nothing.

I’ve slept. A lot. I’ve read two books and started on a third. And if you knew me & my inability to sit through a whole book, you’d know what a great accomplishment that is.

And perhaps most importantly, Bryant and I (he’s sick too, of course) have completely caught up on all of our TV watching. Nothing left in the Hulu queue except some little random bits. Nothing on our Netflix streaming that’s calling our names too loudly.

So what the heck do we do now? This is a call to arms. Please, help a sister out. What shows should we be watching? Old shows, new shows, lay it on me.

3 comments » | for my amusement, just wondering, quirks

taking stock

December 5th, 2010 — 7:32pm

In the past year:

  • We put everything we own into boxes and moved to Washington.
  • We celebrated Christmas in an apartment furnished with nothing but a giant, undecorated Christmas tree and a leaky blow-up mattress. It turned out perfect.
  • I went back to school.
  • Bryant started a new job (which he loves).
  • I started a new job (which I love).
  • We hosted dear friends and family from out of town seven times, for a total of 35 days!
  • Bryant was hospitalized for a week, and survived.
  • We watched New Year’s fireworks at the Space Needle, and we watched 4th of July fireworks over Lake Washington.
  • We took trips to North Carolina (and Virginia while we were at it), Utah twice, Colorado twice, and Illinois.
  • My 2010 bald eagle sighting count grew to six.
  • We experienced the full range of Seattle’s three seasons, which are as follows: [1] three and a half months of sun with 70-degree weather*, [2] eight and a half months of rain, and [3] three days of light snow, when absolutely everything will shut down and your husband will spend seven hours on a bus on a bridge over Lake Washington.
  • We got an adorable new niece.
  • Bryant managed to squeeze out a year of living in a new state without getting a new driver’s license.
  • We found our favorite Indian-food place, Mexican-food place, gelato place, creme-puff place (come on, everyone needs a favorite creme puff place), and we’re still working on the rest.
  • We bought some real, grown-up furniture, which will be delivered next weekend, and I can’t wait.
  • We had a three-year anniversary, I turned 26, and Bryant’s 32nd is just around the corner.

It’s so odd how all this stuff packs itself into the year without you noticing it. Sometimes, when I’m not thinking, I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and think I must be useless because there are still so many things left to do on my list. But then I take a minute to make a list like this and I realize, life fills itself into the spaces whether you’re aware of it or not. There’s always more to do, but look at how much you’ve done!

2010, thanks for everything. You’ve been very good year.

*except for when it’s more than 70 degrees.

5 comments » | for my amusement, good things, lists, nostalgia, travels, we live here now

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